Last Monday, the College of Wooster Department of Theatre and Dance announced that it is adding the art of clowning to their curriculum. The department will be officially retitled as The Department of Theatre and Dance and Clown and Mime. The announcement comes from department chair, Dale Seeds in a letter to current theatre and dance majors and minors.

Seeds outlined in his letter to students that the move was inspired by current trends in new shows opening on Broadway in New York City. ìDue to the rise in demand for actors and dancers that are well-versed in the art of making people laugh or, well, dressing up like a jester, the department has decided to take immediate action to implement the art of clowning into the current curriculum,” says Seeds. In the fall of the next academic year, Seeds described what new courses would be available to students: ìComedy for the Camera, Be Funnier than Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock,” ìHow to be a Good/Sad Clown,” ìMake it Funny: Directing Comedy for the Stage (and Underwater)” as well as† four additional courses in mime which are yet to be named.

Over the summer, current theatre and dance faculty members will be traveling to Rome to study clown at the International School of Clowning, and New Alternative Performance.

Seeds discussed in the announcement that the faculty wants to ìcontinue to add variety to our performance curriculum, as well as an outlet for students to laugh their worries away when working on Independent Study.”

Not to be outdone by the clowns, the underground Wooster Mime League, known for their midnight gesticulations on Beall Ave., petitioned in December 2009 to be included as part of plans to revamp the theatre and dance department. The Mime League received word from an anonymous tip that the theatre and dance department was planning to add clowning to their curriculum for next year, and immediately petitioned secretly to Seeds and other faculty members to add the art of mime.

This resulted in the creation of a mime class for theatre and dance and clown and mime students this spring semester. The head mime, a certain Spaniard named Silencio, will be teaching an Actorís Workshop Class called ìMiming And You: When To Shut Up and Frame a Pretend Box With Your Hands.”

The class, which showed an admittedly surprising outpouring of interest from Wooster students, has already run into a few problems.

ìI didnít know it would be taught in total silence…” said Malcom Campbell-Taylor í13. ìSilencio doesnít even use a blackboard…well he does, but its invisible.”

In fact, Silencio requires total silence from his pupils, a fact Jackie Komos í11 learned the hard way.

ìI said ëHelloí during the first day of class. He dropped his chalk, well, the invisible thing he was holding, and started waving his arms around like crazy. I thought he was having a seizure.”

Silencio, when reached for comment, outlined an invisible door with his forefingers and slammed it in the interviewersí faces.

ìHeís very temperamental,” said Seeds. ìBut all great artists are!”

Students also ran into trouble, however, when they were given their syllabus.

ìIt was a videotape. A cassette. When we put it in, it was an hour-long film of him in a black room, pulling some sort of invisible tug rope.” said Ashley Stockwell í12. ìLetís just say weíre having some trouble studying.”

This story was run as part of The Wooster Vice, an annual April Fools publication.† It is a work of satire.