Tommy Lasagna Professional Impasta After multiple incidents involving College of Wooster students and Wooster residents, the College is taking action to improve relations between students and community members. After many hours of meetings, the College has managed to find a solution that administrators believe will …
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Tristan Lopus
Senior creates Scott Brown speech generator for I.S.
Triscuit Lopus Specifically, Zesty Flavor Ever wondered what your daily conversations and other verbal interactions would sound like in the signature speaking style of Scott Brown, the Vice President for Student Affairs/Dean of Students? Wonder no more. This year, Riley Watson ’18, an enterprising computer …
Dean Scott Brown’s passionate vendetta against bowling exposed
Squiggly Liver Nostalgic Bowler Several interviews have recently surfaced revealing that Dean of Students Scott Brown decided to remove Scot Lanes over his bitterness for losing his own high school bowling championship. Brown’s true motivations first came to light in an interview with the construction …
Voice editors propose weekly riots
Squiggly Liver Another Humanities Major injustices. I’m sure we’ll think of something,” Liver said. The Spew-points Editors are also supportive of the idea of weekly protests. “Hey, if people are protesting, that probably means they’re mad, and it probably means they have something to say, …
Beall Ave. cameras uncover secret squirrel cult
“Woominati” squirrels reportedly planning revolution after the death of one of their kin in transformer accident last semester Macaroon Corkscrew “I Want Coffee” Security and Protective Services (SPS) installed multiple security cameras on Beall Avenue over spring break as an attempt to prevent harassment and …
McGaw Chapel flies back to mother planet
Brick Stone Truth Seeker Wooster students returning from Spring Break were surprised to discover McGaw Chapel had began its return voyage to its mother planet, Presbyteria. Many had previously noted McGaw’s peculiar architectural features, often jokingly saying that it looked more like a spaceship than …