A phenomenon that has been recently plaguing the social and political spheres of our society is the inability to have civilized disagreement. Disagreeing with someone has been misconstrued as a personal attack and is met with fervent retaliation rather than open ears and an open mind. Though overly-zealous arguments and the inability to compromise is not a new concept, this type of response has become more widely spread and prevalent in the past few years. Some have pointed to the distinctly partisan nature of political debates these days as an important source of this conversational animosity. I don’t wish to speculate or blame where this mindset has stemmed from, but rather, to discuss its detrimental nature and why it is essential to counter this trend before it goes too far to stop.
For many young people, we are commonly pushed to shape our own individual opinions and stand strong behind our convictions. Though this advice seems like an encouraging sentiment intended to boost our confidence, there is an unwanted side effect that comes along with it. In all the emphasis on our individual opinions, we have lost track of the important need for compromise and concession. We have now become afraid to be wrong at the risk of appearing stupid or uninformed. Additionally, because we have become so protective of our opinions, any assault on them is deemed a direct threat to us and everything that we stand for rather than what it really is: a difference in opinion.
As this defensive mindset begins to encroach when an argument builds, the conversation gets less and less friendly. People start to talk over one another, voices are raised, we rise to our feet and assert a position of dominance. As all of this is taking place, we retreat inside our minds and close our ears to the counter argument, focusing not on what is being said but instead on what words we want to cram in when we get the next chance. What began as a friendly exchange and a harmless idea turns into an angry uproar simply because neither party is taking the steps to respect the other. I want to make it clear that I am guilty of this just as much (if not more) than everyone else is. It is so easy to get into your own head and to want so badly to prove that you’re right that you lose track of something that is arguably more important: the exchange of ideas and respect for other people.
It took me years to come to place where I realized that arguing is more about hearing than it is about proving a point. This point was only really struck home during the controversies surrounding the 2016 election. The administration of my high school was so afraid that people would not be able to control themselves and listen to the opinion of others without the debate turning ugly that they essentially banned any discussion of the topic. Though I realize that their intentions were not malicious, I have always thought that instead of shutting down the conversation and forcing everyone to walk around on tip-toes, this opportunity should have been used to educate the students on the importance and practice of civil discourse.
We should not shy away from discussion. Instead, the importance of respecting the opinions and the minds of others regardless of your personal stance must be instilled in everyone. Being passionate is not a negative thing, but we should not sacrifice the free exchange of ideas and the importance of respecting our fellow humans just so someone has the right to a passionate outburst.
Elyse Evans, a Contributing Writer for the Voice, can be reached for comment at EEvans21@wooster.edu.