Travie McCoooooy

Lee’s favorite

Just when you thought the College was oversaturated with a capella groups, a new coed group has formed and is ready to hit the scene. C(ap)ell(a) Division, the fastest-growing singing outfit on campus, formed last week when Merry Kuween of Scots members Dominic Piacentini ’15 and Ryan O’Dell ’14 suddenly began to reproduce via asexual budding during the Wooster Chorus Tour.

“I woke up one day with this weird pain in my shoulder,” O’Dell said. “When I looked in the mirror I saw what appeared to be a smaller version of my head growing out of there. Its eyes were closed but it was breathing.”

“I was practicing my singing in my hotel room in Saginaw when this other voice started harmonizing with me,” Piacentini said. “I had no idea where it was coming from, because everyone else was out. Then I had to scratch my back and I heard someone say ‘ow!’ Turned out to be a little Dom.”

Piacentini quickly called his mother, who told him not to worry. “She said she had been doing some ancestry research and it turns out that my great-great grandfather was a brain coral from the Great Barrier Reef,” he said. “I guess that trait skips a few generations.”

While O’Dell and Piacentini were initially able to hide their polyps, the growths began to grow quickly. “It was distracting during the tour,” O’Dell said. “Sometimes they would try to sing with the rest of the chorus, but they clearly hadn’t rehearsed. Audience members were also disturbed by the shapes coming out of our backs and shoulders.”        Piacentini, who is also heir apparent of A Round of Monkeys, said that his fellow a capella singers were not happy with this development. “They started calling me Mitosis Monkey,” he said, “which felt weirdly derogatory compared to the usual nicknames. They told me that there wasn’t room for two Dominics in Monkeys.”

Upon returning to Wooster, the growths split off from their hosts and left to find like-minded singers. Members of After These Messages, Black Gold and Cowbelles had also been experiencing the phenomenon, and their buds quickly responded to fliers that had been distributed across campus.

C(ap)ell(a) Division does a variety of songs ranging from R&B to modern rock to commercial jingles, but their repertoire has all been done by the other groups on campus. “They’re kind of ripping us off,” O’Dell said, “but I can’t really blame them since they literally ripped off of us.”

The first concert will take place at Scheide Music Center tomorrow at 7 p.m.