Copy editor Sarah Kristeller ’14 and Features editor Anya Cohen ’14 share their thoughts on several issues.

Mushrooms

Anya: Mushrooms are weird, slimy and smell like dirt. They make whatever they are mixed with taste worse. They are like the Debbie Downer of your friends who just make everything awful. One time I ate a crab stuffed mushroom and vomited.

 

Sarah: Delicious and nutritious. As someone with a mostly vegetarian diet, I appreciate fungi’s umami-rich flavor, also known to flavor scientists as the savoriness, the fifth taste.

 

The Scot Center

Anya: Let’s be honest, the old gym was really just a dungeon into which the school threw seven broken treadmills, five broken ellipticals and six broken stationary bikes. The new Scot Center is great and the televisions on the machines are truly the icing on the cake. I can get my daily dose of Kardashian (which is always on E!) while simultaneously doing something productive.

 

Sarah: I write this from the office of The Wooster Voice. Know where that is? It’s in the basement of Lowry. Behind Mom’s. Next to a mechanical room. And a storage closet. I’m sure that if I ever decide to start using the Scot Center, I will cherish every moment of my 30 million dollar workout, and not gripe about it’s distribution elsewhere.

Camping

Anya: If I wanted to sleep uncomfortably and eat gross food that is made by “just adding water,” I would …  No, I just wouldn’t do it.

 

Sarah: There are few smells lovelier than a crackling campfire, few sounds more peaceful that those of the woods in the morning, and few man-made artifacts cozier than a sleeping bag.

 

Nail polish

Anya: I think nail polish looks as awkward on people as it does on dogs. Have you ever seen those weirdos who paint their dog’s nails? Yeah, that’s right. You look like that dog.

 

Sarah: Right now I’m wearing a spring-like shade of orange from the brand ORLY, and I feel like I have tiny tangerines on my fingernails.

 

Tattoos

Anya: Inked flower on your butt, meet the floor. This introduction will undoubtedly happen in 50 years, and it’s going to be so gross.

 

Sarah: They represent freedom of expression and long-term commitment. Tattoos are awesome, except for when they’re not, and they never hurt anyone except the person who is getting inked (unlike nail polish, with its unfortunate reputation for noxious fumes.)

 

Coffee

Anya: I’m still under the impression, and nothing will convince me otherwise, that if I steer clear of the stuff, I will keep growing. Cher from Clueless said it best. “Duh, it might stunt my growth. I want to be 5’ 10” like Cindy Crawford.” Plus, it tastes bad.

 

Sarah: As a global commodity associated with unscrupulous trading practices, I am somewhat shamed to fill my cup with it every morning … and noon … and night.

 

Unpaid internships

Anya: How much would you really be paid, anyway? $5 an hour? I can find that in change if I search around my room for an hour. What you really should be getting is experience and a résumé booster.

 

Sarah: The ultimate way to take advantage of enthusiastic students before they burn out from the competitiveness of the job market. Last time I checked, unpaid wages wer