The Scene
‘The Christmas Shoes’
Nobody likes Thanksgiving. Sure, everyone pretends to enjoy the same dry turkey, and we all love a break before the last grueling weeks of the semester, but Thanksgiving is nothing more than a kick-off for the main event of the year: Christmas. Especially since Black Friday became the main Thanksgiving event, the holiday has fallen into the shadow of its more festive younger sibling. Besides, Christmas has a more wholesome message; as heartily American as it may be to dedicate an entire day to a meal and finish it off with watching a game of hand-egg, it is even more patriotic to embrace capitalism by searching Wal-mart for the perfect Axe gift set.
I may seem cynical, but I thoroughly embrace the true meaning of Christmas. I love walking around in malls and blissfully losing myself in the consumerist spirit. I love cookies and tacky sweaters. I count down the days until I can start saying Merry Christmas to people on the street and deliberately avoid those post-holiday blues when you realize that the house has to be undecorated and everything has to go back to normal.
While I love everything else about Christmas, there is one part of the season that I absolutely abhor: the song “The Christmas Shoes.” If you have heard it, you will immediately know the monstrosity I am talking about, and if you haven’t yet been subjected to this horror, please spare yourself.
This song tells the story of a little boy who desperately wants to buy his dying mother a pair of shoes for Christmas, but cannot afford them. While it sounds like the perfect setup for a real tearjerker, the song leaves a gaping plot hole that has had me scratching my head for years.
Why shoes? Why not something that would stand out more, like a scarf, a necklace, a jacket or a hat? The boy sings that he wants his mother to look beautiful; who immediately thinks of a pair of shoes to satisfy this desire? Besides, if she’s sick, she’s probably laying down in a bed, and if this is the case, shoes are a downright irresponsible gift. She will want to try them on and model them for everyone in the room, and after she goes through all this hassle she’s just going to have to take them off again.
Also, why is this child even at the store? He sings that his father says there’s not much time; why would the son then rush off to buy the shoes? And if he doesn’t have enough money, why did his father let him go in the first place? To teach him a dual lesson about time and money management? I know that the purpose of “The Christmas Shoes” is to teach about the real meaning of Christmas, family and generosity, but really, a song with a more plausible storyline would have been more effective.
If these obvious problems with “The Christmas Shoes” haven’t sufficiently turned you away from the song, then know that it finishes off with a chorus of children singing. I am not so much of a Scrooge that I hate the sound of a child’s voice, but this particular verse just tries too hard to pound the listener over the head with Christmas spirit and cuteness.
So this holiday season, remember not to panic too much over exams and final papers and projects, and enjoy all your favorite aspects of Christmas. But avoid “The Christmas Shoes.”