When people think about† Wooster, they tend to associate a variety of different characteristics with our campus. Some people think of our independent study program, our winning sports teams or our overall engaged and polite student body. Although these traits may be true, there is something missing from our mission statement. An incredibly important trait that might as well be a requirement on your admission application ó everyone here is awkward.
I donít care if you are sitting back in your chair right now thinking about how not awkward you are because youíre ìthat guy” that talks to everyone, all the time, in every class. Newsflash: that makes you awkward. I am convinced that it is the goal of everyone here to avoid sober eye contact, speaking and the always-controversial physical contact at all costs. So, in that spirit, I have decided to help my fellow campus freaks out. After much observation and strategic dodging, I have compiled a list of the top five best ways to avoid contact with humans on campus.
1. Avoid the walking paths. I would like to know who laid out the plans for these walking paths because whoever did wanted the design to ensure that students run into everyone and ANYONE possible. What other school can claim that their pathways are designed to be awkward? Thanks, Wooster. I now know why I see kids trekking across the snow-ridden grass ó they are most likely trying to avoid you.
2. Utilize your cell phone. Although I think this method is etiquette flawed, pretending to talk on your cell phone allows you to escape the possibility that someone will say hello to you. You can even take it a little further and start talking about something borderline inappropriate, so not only will people not want to talk to you, they also might give you more personal space. If youíre not big on the whole talking aspect (letís face it, if youíre still reading this, youíre probably not) then whip out your mobile and start texting up a fury. Make it animated! Add in some sound effects. Everyone here is weird, why not you?
3. Pretend you didnít hear someone if they try to talk to you. Some people may think this is rude. I think this is a survival technique. Thereís always that one person who feels the need to scream across the quad so you see them. They always want your attention for something incredibly insignificant and obnoxious. If you donít hear them, not only will you continue on your merry way with a guilt-free conscious, but they will also look like a moron. Better yet, when they yell your name, just starting running in the other direction and scream, ìShe doesnít even go here!”
4. Walk with someone intimidating. Be specific about the people you choose to associate with. In my opinion, the more intimidating and bizarre people, the better chance you have of someone avoiding conversing with you. For example, donít walk with your close friends if you want people to avoid you. Walk with someone that makes everyone uncomfortable ó a sure bet to keep the strangers away.
5. Run places. Everyone walks at the speed of a sloth here. Not only will this be a great source of athletic exercise, but also what person would stop a kid who is in a dead sprint to somewhere? Thatís just rude. On another positive note, you always will be the first kid to your class and probably have time to grab a drink of water to relieve your exhaustion. Think about it.
In most situations, I would advocate politeness and common courtesy, but I understand that this school is filled with socially awkward individuals who donít understand the value of human communication. Those people now have a whole list of ideas of how to stay elusive and mysterious. Plus, seeing people sprinting around campus will make for one amazing Wooster promotional video.
I think our awkwardness levels are pretty much just as normal as everywhere else.
Don’t let this Viewpoints article discount Wooster. There are certainly enclaves of awkward people here, but normal students are in abundance. As Jonah suggested, scheduling a visit and watching people interact is probably the best way to get a fair sense of the general Wooster student.
(Just don’t come Saturday morning, because we’ll all be asleep.)
-KC
I think a lot of parts of Laney’s editorial were meant in jest, but there is a certain ring of truth to it. What isn’t really conveyed is that, really, when everyone is awkward, no one is, so even if we might sometimes look at ourselves and our peers and sense this perception, we aren’t bothered by it – we make light of it and joke about it and not much more.
When it comes to your student, I cannot emphasize enough how great it is that you had a campus visit – and if your student hasn’t had an overnight yet I would highly recommend it. The only way to get a feel for the atmosphere, the aesthetic and what the people are really like in day-to-day interactions is to come and live the student life for a little while. Judge for yourself whether people are awkward and, if so, whether it’s a good awkwardness or a bad one. Wooster isn’t the right fit for everyone, but I think the kids for whom it’s the right place will know it after they visit.
As the parent of a prospective student, I was reading this piece during a campus visit and wondered if this is truly representative of student attitudes and behavior at Wooster.
Is this the result of several years of experience, or are you a freshman? Do you think the kind of place you came from makes a difference?
What else can you tell me about the atmosphere at COW (minus the sarcasm—I might not get it!)
I will welcome any insight you would like to offer.
MJR