One very ravenous sex crazed editor and one editor with bad indigestion rate their top seven places to practice their areas of expertise.
Fornicate
1. Overholt beanbag room
Who doesn’t like having sex on beanbag chairs?
2. The counter at Old Main after hours
Nothing arouses me more than the smell of freshly brewed knock off Starbucks coffee.
3. On top of the oven in Wagner
There is truly no place hotter than atop an oven. However, be wary that security is no more than a stone’s throw away.
4. The golf course
Score a hole in one, my friend
5.The attic in Douglass
Many times well spent in that oddly placed lone chair.
6. Hider House basement
Think back to the basketball parties last year. Who didn’t have sex while shoved against a wall?
7. The monkey room in Morgan
If I’ve ever seen anything with a more raging sex drive than mine, it’s those damn Capuchins!
Poop
1. Overholt beanbag room
Who doesn’t like pooping on beanbag chairs?
2. The counter at Old Main after hours
I can’t help but love adding to the wide variety of wonderful scents from the campus’ cafe.
3. Inside of the oven in Wagner
It’s a proven excellent place to do your business. Just ask any sophomore who had the pleasure of living there last year.
4. The golf course
The groundskeepers are good.
5.The attic in Douglass
And it still smells nicer than the hallways do….
6. Hider House basement
Relive an authentic outhouse feel by taking a dump in the tiny room boasting a non-closing door with a crescent moon cut out.
7. The monkey room in Morgan
Just don’t throw it.