Allyson Afrifa
Contributing Writer
Your best friend has known you for years, possibly even your whole life. Your algorithm has known you for what, two weeks? Yet somehow, it knows exactly what video you want to watch next, what songs you like and what product you might need. I listen to a lot of music, and my algorithm often knows the next song to play. That is why I ask: Does your algorithm know you better than your best friend?
I think the answer is more complicated than yes or no. Algorithms study our behavior and see patterns we may not even notice ourselves. Algorithms learn from almost everything we do online. Every search, like, skip, purchase and video can become information about us. Over time, these actions create a picture of our interests and habits.
“How Algorithms Manipulate You (and How to Fight Back),,” a TED Talk by Jen Golbeck and Shalini Kantayya, discusses how algorithms use our data to influence what we see and the choices we make. I think my favorite social media app is Instagram, and once you start watching Reels, you cannot stop. Sometimes I feel almost trapped, because the app seems to know exactly what to show me next. The more we interact with technology, the more it learns from us.
Apparently, algorithms can learn a lot. A study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences examined whether computers could predict people’s personalities from their Facebook likes. Another study compared computer-generated personality judgments with judgments made by people’s Facebook friends. Computer predictions were sometimes more accurate than those made by friends. That makes me question who knows us better.
I experienced something similar when I was thinking about a hairstyle I wanted to do. I searched for a random video, and it happened to be the exact hairstyle I had been thinking about. It made me wonder how often our online behavior gives algorithms clues about what we want before we realize how much information we have given them.
But does prediction mean understanding? This is where I think the difference becomes important. There is a difference between knowing what someone does and knowing who someone is. An algorithm might know that I repeatedly listen to a certain type of music. My best friend might know that I listen to that music when I am sad or happy. My friends know I play Alicia Keys when I am in my feelings or sad. An algorithm might recognize that I keep playing Alicia Keys, but it does not know what happened that made me want to listen to her. Honestly, I think the algorithm just knows me online. What I post, search or watch does not necessarily represent everything about who I am.
But what if the algorithm really does know us better? One could argue that algorithms have access to far more information than any one person could remember. Your best friend might know your favorite food, movie, or what makes you laugh. An algorithm can remember patterns across thousands of interactions, including things you choose not to tell other people.
But that does not necessarily mean it understands you better. It knows what you do, but it does not necessarily know why you do it. An algorithm can predict that I will click on something or recommend something I will love without knowing why I want it or why it matters to me. An algorithm can study my behavior, but my best friend can understand my emotions, experiences and the reasons behind that behavior.
We should enjoy the convenience technology provides, but we should also be more aware of what we give it in return. We should think more carefully about what our online behavior says about us and remember that an algorithm’s prediction is not the same thing as understanding. Maybe my algorithm knows what I will watch, listen to or buy next, but my best friend knows the person behind those choices. I think that is what truly counts as knowing someone.
