by Joe Russo
Thomas’ Tierlist has become a blight within our community. He has continuously brought a ruinous and untrustworthy set of values to the back page of the Voice, and here I stand today to focus on it. He has written five tier lists (fruit, colors, ice cream, vegetables and fast food). Each one being its own disturbing and twisted entrance into his mind.
To begin, his classifications have always been out of control. In his very first tier list he places avocado in S tier, setting a precedent that his lists will focus on botanical classifications, rather than culinary. This is an interesting take, which is then rebuffed in his vegetable tier list, as he suddenly switches to whatever he feels is a vegetable. In the vegetable tier list, 33 percent of his “vegetables” are classified differently, including over half of the S tier: edamame (legume), eggplants (fruit), jalapenos (fruit), mushroom (fungi) and pumpkin (fruit). This shows a clear lack of oversight and forethought in Thomas’ Lists. In total, it took me five minutes to check each “vegetable” on Google, which he apparently was too busy making disagreeable lists to do.
This calls into question the validity of his lists in entirety, which can be expanded on by something I heard. It was reported to me from a whistleblower on the Voice team that Thomas stacks his list to be disagreeable. When he placed mint chocolate chip in S tier, he only did it to make students at the College angry. This sickening truth calls into question not only his quality of character, but the Voice’s quality as a paper. Allowing this unchecked man to hold enough power to have a weekly spot on the paper is downright disturbing. Especially when his opinions are of the low quality that Thomas’ are (I use opinion loosely, as above we learned that sometimes he intentionally lies to anger the masses).
What confounded me was that Thomas gets a spot in the Voice, which forces him to be the default on all of these opinions, yet when people see his tier lists they can think of no other word than outrage. Zooming into one list, his most recent (with the exception of this paper) was the fast-food tier list. This list, in its entirety, shows a fundamental disconnect between Thomas and the people.
To begin with my critique, he places a lot of fast food on this list that are unnecessary, such as Sbarro, Moe’s and Long John Silver’s. Even Swenson’s, a place I love, does not deserve a spot on this list as it isn’t really “fast food,” however, that leaves out Carl Jrs/Hardees or Jack in the Box, both MAJOR names in the fast food tier lists. That’s ignoring In & Out, Whataburger, Sonic or even A&W, all big chains that he ignored. Focusing on the rankings themselves, in the F tier we have Denny’s and IHOP. I do not care where you would put them, but I know everyone in the world knows that these two are not on equal footing for food quality. Which you place higher is your opinion, but there is no world in which they are equal.
I have been hearing a lot of input that Taco Bell should be in S Tier. Taco Bell, which has been the lifeblood of many college students, has vegan options and sits like a jewel in the crown of Wooster, at the top of our very own Beall Avenue, has been cast into the fires of F tier. This simply is not right. I could continue to deconstruct Thomas’ list taking each mistake he has made and pointing them out, but to do so would fill every page of every copy of the Voice for 100 years, and I sadly have a word limit. Dear viewer, I leave you with this. Thomas is sick, but the Voice is merely a body for his illness to accumulate. What we need is change. Thomas needs to change his ways, put effort into his lists and stop this vicious cycle that he has made. Thomas, please change. Make better lists.
