by Emma Shinker
I remember it vividly. I was sitting at the counter in old Lowry, looking down at the stadium and the students walking out of the Scot Center. I was eating some sort of stuffed shell pasta and an M&M cookie. And I was all alone.
It wasn’t that dramatic, but for some reason it felt that way. Though I had eaten alone plenty of times before during my first year, I had always been in the privacy of my room or at a picnic table with no one else around. That day, I remember thinking: I’m going to college during a global pandemic, I should be able to conquer eating alone in the dining hall. Despite this confidence, I spent the whole meal with my face in my phone, trying to start text conversations with my friends and family, trying to look as if I were busy, trying not to feel left out in a room full of loud groups of friends.
I recently read an article that called for the normalization of eating alone in college dining halls. While I don’t think the act is stigmatized at Wooster in the way it was at the school the writer went to (I see people sitting by themselves in Lowry all the time), I do know several people who would not ever let themselves be caught sitting alone.
I don’t know when or how I became comfortable with it. Maybe it was when my schedule and my friends’ became increasingly complicated, meaning it was hard to find someone to eat with every day. Maybe it was because I started worrying about the impact of all those disposable to-go boxes. Either way, somehow I reached the point where I no longer glance around, wondering if I’m being judged. I realized eating alone could be a choice, not just something I was forced to do.
I use the time to catch up on homework, practice my daily Duolingo or simply take a moment to not think about anything. We are always expected to be thinking about something: essays and quizzes, rehearsals and meetings, Saturday plans. Taking the time to slow down can be really important! For an introvert like me, it’s a completely different kind of break than the type I get when I eat with others. It might be more fun to share a meal with friends, but it still expends energy. Alone, it may not be particularly exciting, but it is a moment to take a breath in the middle of a busy day. While even I can’t go too long without human interaction, there’s so much value in taking a moment for yourself, especially on a college campus where we are constantly surrounded by people and pulled in so many different directions.
Enjoying your own company is a powerful thing, but it also takes practice. Eating alone in the dining hall was the first step for me, and it led me to, during my semester abroad in London, seek out opportunities to visit museums, gardens and parks alone. I’d take a book to read on the train and treat myself to a fancy hot chocolate or boba tea. Finding the right balance of time with new friends and time to myself was one of the things that made that semester so memorable.
So if you’re skeptical, I dare you to try it. Channel some main character energy, take a seat in a little booth (or a big one, I’m not judging) and drown out the chatter.