For the past year and a half, I have served as one of the editors in chief of this paper. In the grand scheme of things, this leadership role is very small: no one beyond the confines of this College cares who heads The Wooster Voice.

It is still a leadership role, however, and it has taught me things about being a woman in a leadership position that I wish I did not have to think about.

When I first got the job, I did not think I was qualified for it. Since then, I have struggled with considerations that I am sure every woman in a leadership position has faced.

Am I being too bossy? Am I too loud? Too opinionated? Too angry? Too emotional? Should I be nicer? How can I get them to listen to me? Will people still like me if I tell them ‘no’?

Last Tuesday a sexist, racist, xenophobic, almost comically underqualified man-child beat out a calm, rational, almost comically overqualified woman for the office of President of the United States. There was more at play in this election than sexism, and it would be foolish to claim otherwise. There is a real and justifiable anger in this country at the way that our government functions, and there are wide swathes of the nation, especially the rural poor, which feel forgotten and disenfranchised by our establishment.

However, it would be equally foolish to claim that sexism played no part in this decision. This country simply could not wrap its collective head around the idea of a woman in the office of the president. She doesn’t have the presidential look. She’s cold. She’s too old. According to our president-elect, women are disgusting, neurotic, nasty, obnoxious, rude pieces of ass, and if you are a powerful man, you can grab them by the pussy.

Last Tuesday night, as it became clear that this man who does not view me as a person but rather as an object to be placed somewhere along the continuum between ‘would bang’ and ‘would not bang’ would be my next president, I was busy working on the layout for this paper. Every Tuesday night, from 4 p.m. to 2-3 a.m. on Wednesday morning, I work on this paper. I do this every week because it is a job that I agreed to do, and I do it with pride. It has taught me valuable lessons about how to perform a leadership role, but also harsh realities about the things you need to take into consideration as a female leader that my male counterparts face to a much lesser extent.

As the projected results came in, I felt numb, and sad, and angry, and I began to cry, but I pushed those emotions aside to do my job, because as a woman in a leadership position I don’t have the luxury of being incapacitated by my emotions.

I am still sad, and angry, and disappointed and disheartened, but I also refuse to give in.

I don’t know what the next four years will hold, but I believe in the hardworking, thoughtful people around me, and I hope that they continue to work for a better, more equitable, more inclusive world, because we need that work now more than ever.

And I hope that everyone reading this thinks long and hard about how they view the women in their lives and women in general.

Mariah Joyce, Editor in Chief for the Voice, can be reached for comment at mjoyce17@wooster.edu.