Anya Cohen
I don’t remember the last instance my time was more thoroughly wasted than at Nov. 13’s trivia at the Underground. Admittedly, UG trivia usually boasts pretty boring categories, and last week was no exception with three of the five categories dubbed “Thanksgiving,” “Christmas” and “random.” The only category even remotely worthy of my time and answers was “horror movies.” However, the biggest assault that assailed my brain that day was a category entirely on facts of one specific Wooster student — let’s call said person Student X.
This is absolutely, 100 million percent not okay. Sure, this campus is small and a lot of people know a lot of things about a lot of people (including a lot of people that they have never met). Nevertheless, UG trivia is not the environment for a pissing contest about who knows more entirely useless facts about students on this campus. I don’t care what Student X’s favorite book is nor how to spell his/her full name. By asking me these questions and assigning a point value to them (especially when those points can lead to sizeable gift cards to local restaurants), you have embarrassed yourself, delegitimized Wednesday UG events and wasted the time of every single person in the room.
Aside from the simple thrill of the game — and the opportunity to win splendid prizes — many students go to UG trivia to learn non-academic facts in a non-academic setting. Admittedly, filling my brain with nuggets of knowledge such as “mangoes are known as the king of fruits” may not be the most substantive food for thought, but at least it’s a fun fact that I may be able to use someday in conversation. What will never be useful knowledge, ever, is what makes Student X “so damn sexy.” Yes, that was actually a question at UG trivia on Nov. 13. Not only is this not a question that has an answer, I probably killed brain cells trying to think of a response. In addition, the fact that I would lose trivia points for not knowing the answer to this pea-brained question is downright infuriating.
Not only were the questions moronic, those who ran the trivia game never gave the answers to any of the questions — even those that were in more legitimate categories. Believe it or not, students actually care about the answers and some may even have a beer or two riding on what they believe to be the winning answer. If you’re going to ask boneheaded questions, the least you can do is answer them.
Don’t waste my time, trivia hosts. A quick type of “trivia questions” into your Google search bar will supply you with infinitely more interesting and infinitely less idiotic questions than what Student X’s favorite animated movie is. There isn’t a student or figure on this campus who would make for a good trivia category; unless the category is President Cornwell and the question is how many miles he has on his Vespa — but only if you actually remember to read the answer.
And before the Voice receives a whiny letter to the editor suggesting that, “if I think trivia is run so horribly, then I should just read the questions myself” — don’t waste your time. I’ll be picking this bone with Kevin Carpenter later this week.