Michael Hatchett
In the words of the great television character, Ned Stark, “winter is coming.” For isolated nerds like myself, this signifies the winter hiatus of my favorite TV shows. If you, like me, dread this three week period where there seems to be nothing on television except holiday movies, then perhaps there exists an unlikely new option to fill the gap. Professional wrestling. That’s right. Today, I’m gonna tell you why.
Let me first state pro wrestling is not fake. It is scripted, planned and choreographed (in a sense), but these don’t constitute fake. Wrestlers get hurt all the time and, to paraphrase legendary World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) commentator Jim Ross, no one can learn how to safely fall spine-first on an aluminum ladder. Therefore, it is important to examine professional wrestling as more of a television show and less of a sport. In fact, there are a few reasons why professional wrestling is better than a normal TV show. Firstly, it airs three times a week and it will not end any time soon. There is a season finale every month (in the form of pay-per-view events) that pack in all of the drama and cliffhangers present in normal season finales, except without a hiatus.
Good TV shows have characters you can get behind, and in the case of the WWE, there is literally a wrestler for everyone. Are you super into beards and veganism? There’s a wrestler for you. Do you really like punk rock and comic books? There’s a wrestler for you. Are you someone of refined taste who thinks that pro wrestling fans are uncultured swine? Yes, there’s even a wrestler for you. Are you nerdy? Athletic? Feminist? Libertarian? Christian? European? There are wrestlers (male and female) who fulfill all these characteristics and many more. And they’re all attractive. Seriously. You know those moments in shows where one of the principal characters has to remove an item of clothing and you’re just like “Damn, I wish I could see that more?” Welcome to professional wrestling, every single week. Whatever your sexual orientation or gender identity is, there is someone in the world of professional wrestling whom you will find attractive.
There is nothing wrong with watching pro wrestling as a guilty pleasure either. In a sense, it is the ultimate guilty pleasure. The reason I got into it was because all of my friends and I thought it was really stupid and goofy. Then, after watching it enough, we found ourselves more invested in the matches and soon, we all became addicts. The wonderful thing about unironically watching professional wrestling is that you lose the ability to judge anyone else’s cultural tastes. Oh you like Nickelback? I can’t look down on you because I watch mostly naked grown men pretend to fight each other. Three times a week. You think the Fast & Furious franchise is the greatest thing to happen to film? I once spent thirty dollars on a child’s size WWE championship belt. Does this mean that pro wrestling is devoid of artistic value? Nope, but if you just want to see sweaty ex-football players throw each other off ladders because you think it’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen, that’s totally cool.
However, in terms of pro wrestling as an art form, it can be considered one of the highest forms of theater. One of the key reasons for this is due to the concept of “kayfabe” which is the belief that pro wrestlers must stay in character at all times during shows and while in public. This means that no matter what happens in the ring, you must commit to your character and allow the match to play out the way it is supposed to be. This has resulted in wrestlers breaking bones during matches but pushing themselves to stay in character and finish the match with the scripted ending. Let me know the next time Hamlet tears his quad and keeps acting with three more acts to go. Additionally, with the popularity of the Internet, you would think that the idea of kayfabe as a protection of backstage secrets would become irrelevant. Nope. Now with social media, WWE wrestlers up the ante of kayfabe by interacting with fans while in character. Imagine if Jesse Pinkman gave you meth-cooking tips on Twitter or if Tony Soprano liked your Facebook status about pooping. It would be the greatest thing to ever happen to you!
At the end of the day, pro wrestling is a weird cultural anomaly. It combines the athleticism and audience engagement of real sports with the drama and story-telling of TV shows. Every week you get to watch a bunch of silly men and women beat the crap out of each other for very silly reasons. But the best moments in professional wrestling are when the acting is so excellent, the story so well-written and the wrestling so impressive that you think, just for a second, “Is this real?” Those moments are why so many people watch professional wrestling and part of what makes it so great. Another beautiful thing is the acceptance of the professional wrestling community. In an effort of goodwill, I invite anyone interested in watching WWE to shoot me an email and we’ll set up a viewing party one night. That is, if you smell what I’m cooking.