by Kris Fronzak, News Editor

Unfortunately for lovers — and would-be lovers — everywhere, the Food and Drug Administration has confirmed that over-the-counter aphrodisiacs are ineffective as best, and can be poisonous at worst.

Their effects are purely mental — believing that something will get you “in the mood” is likely to convince you that you are in the mood. Scientific research does not support the use of aphrodisiacs, and the only reliable methods of treating erectile dysfunction are prescribed medication, weight loss or cessation of smoking.

Aphrodisiacs are named after the Greek goddess of love and desire, Aphrodite. They’ve been widely used since the Greeks first researched animal, herbal and plant concoctions. However, as time has passed, these original, safe (if not particularly effective) products have been replaced with many unsafe alternatives. Warnings from the FDA have been ignored by the still-growing number of people eating, drinking and otherwise “testing out” these products, ranging from the more common chocolate and oysters to the bizarre and downright ridiculous deer sperm, esscence of racoon ear and Pepsi.

The more common aphrodisiacs in the Western world do indeed have a basis in fact. For example, chocolate increases blood flow. But in order for blood flow to have a significant effect on arousal, chocolate would have to be eaten in excess — something that’s more likely to put consumers out of the mood. Alcohol functions not as a libido increaser, but as a reducer of inhibitions. A chemical in watermelon can increase blood flow and relax blood vessels, but the chemical in mostly found in the inedible rind of the fruit.

Certain foods such as popsicles and oysters can bring to mind the reproductive organs, however, their effects are limited to visualization. Eating them does not directly affect arousal.

It follows, therefore, that the actual effect of aphrodisiacs is mainly a mental one. It may be partially due to a conditioned response — linking certain foods with sexual activities frequently enough can actually cause the body to “gear up” upon seeing or tasting those foods — much the same way that hearing a bag rustle can make a pet salivate for food. But most likely it is due to a placebo effect, wherein believing that certain foods, scents, etc will have an effect on libido actually convinces your body that they’re having an effect.

In the event your boyfriend of girlfriend brings over some strawberries and cream or chocolate to tempt you this Valentine’s Day, treat the foods for what they are: food, not mystical products designed to make your sexual appetite flare.