There are countless benefits to being at a small school. As students at Wooster, we are names, not numbers. Our voices and concerns are heard by members of the administration. We can get from one end of campus to the other in 10 to 15 minutes.
But one enduring drawback is that unless you skip classes and hide in your room 24/7, there is no way you can avoid seeing essentially everyone on this campus at least once every few weeks.
What this means is that staying away from someone becomes nearly impossible. And if the person you’re attempting to avoid has no intention of doing the same to you, this task becomes even harder.
So let’s consider this for a moment: you’re walking to a party with a few friends when your ex-boyfriend appears. He calls out to you so you wave your friends on and go over to say hey. He’s been a little clingy lately, but what of it? You make small talk for a few minutes (the kind of small talk made by people who were once intimate but are now kind of awkward). He may even casually put a hand on your arm. You part with a friendly “See you around” and he replies, “Oh definitely.” A few days later, he starts texting you ó first once a day, then more and more frequently. Then he starts showing up at parties he knows you’re attending. He insists on walking you to your dorm. Pretty soon he’s basically trying to be your significant other again, even though you’ve made it clear that you just want to be friends. When you tell him to stay away from you or to stop “casually” touching you, he seems to comply ó but the next day starts doing it again.
At this point you have to stop and realize that you probably have a stalker. The definition differs from state to state, but AWARE (Arming Women Against Rape and Endangerment) defines stalking as “Virtually any unwanted contact Ö which directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear can generally be referred to as stalking, whether or not it meets a state’s exact legal definition.” Statistics indicate that at least one in 20 women will be stalked every year. Men are also stalked, though with less frequency than women. And although most stalking occurs after relationships (whether between old friends, ex- boyfriends/girlfriends, or divorced spouses) sometimes a handsome face, casual smile or celebrity status is all it takes to send someone over the edge.
Most of the time these obsessions don’t end up amounting to anything. The girl or guy gets over it and everyone moves on with their lives. But sometimes it can have more serious results. At the very least, if it’s affecting your social life, sense of security or well being, it’s a problem. And although we sometimes giggle at security reports like “ex-boyfriend gave unwanted gift,” (I know I did) these are the kinds of things that can constitute (or at least be precursors of) stalking and really should be taken more seriously. Things like that can, at worst, ruin someone’s life –ó or at least darken their college experience.