Five years ago I was 13 years old and the Chicago Cubs made their last postseason run. I watched every game and spent many a school night postponing homework to watch the Cubs play. I was so obsessed that during my own bar mitzvah celebration, I ended up asking people I knew with cell phones for the score of the game.
In fact, when they clinched the division, I was so happy the first thing I did was buy a “Chicago Cubs 2003 NL Central Champs” sweatshirt, which I seriously wore every day for about a month. I was the coolest kid in school. Okay, fine ‚Ä”second coolest: right after that kid who rode his Razor scooter to school. I’m still kind of jealous.
The Cubs were only five outs from their first World Series appearance since the year the United States dropped two atomic bombs on Japan. Chicago made it to the NLCS, and what happened next involved a very painful part of my life that, for the sake of cleanliness, I won’t go into. What you should know is that when the Cubs were knocked out of the playoffs, it felt worse than Tom Brady, and Charlie Weiss’s collective ligament tears.
Five years ago the Cubs were the champions of a notably mediocre division, finishing with a record of 88-74. That year the pitching rotation was bolstered by flamethrowers and injury plagued starters Kerry Wood and Mark Prior, whose careers after that season were never the same. The offense was stapled together by aging superstar Sammy Sosa ‚Ä” who you could always count on for three strikeouts per game.
That was five years ago. I, like many Cubs fans, put 2003 out of memory. It never even happened. It was just another season in the franchise’s existence.”Wait ’til next year” was a phrase that was heard all too often.
This year, though, things are different. The Cubs have a team that, unlike in the past couple years, is the best in the league. The starting pitching rotation, anchored by Carlos “Big Z” Zambrano, Rich “I pray to the Lord every night my arm stays on” Harden and Ryan “Career Year” Dempster, has the second-best ERA in the league. Oh, and not to mention a bullpen with such weapons as Carlos “My stuff is so dirty it shouldn’t be shown on TV” Marmol and Kerry “Back from the dead” Wood.
Most baseball fans say all a team needs to win is good defense and pitching. Luckily, the Cubs have both. It’s that third area, hitting, the Cubs shine in particularly.
No one on the Cubs is having a career year. You won’t find a triple-crown contender, batting title nominee or MVP candidate in the lineup. What you will find are some incredibly consistent statistics, from leadoff hitter Alfonso Soriano’s 28 home runs to third baseman Aramis Ramirez’s third straight 100-plus RBI season, to Rookie-of-the-Year winner Geovany Soto’s campaign of over 20 homers and over 80 RBIs. The offense is the best in the National League, having scored more than 50 runs more than the next team. For non-baseball people, the Cubs are really, really good.
So, what would happen if the Cubbies won the Series? Imagine, if you will, the saltwater content of Lake Michigan increasing by about 50 percent with tears of happiness. Imagine the entire area surrounding Wrigley Field with beer cans up to our thighs. Imagine the ending of “The Lion King” where Simba overtakes Scar and the hyenas and takes his rightful place on Pride Rock and the happiness that ensues. Now try multiplying that by 1,000.
And what would happen to me? Well, after a few hours of uncontrollable sobbing, I’d go out and buy another sweatshirt saying “Chicago Cubs: 2008 World Champions,” and finally take my seat up top as the coolest kid in school. It’s been a long five years, indeed.