Squiggly Liver Nostalgic Bowler Several interviews have recently surfaced revealing that Dean of Students Scott Brown decided to remove Scot Lanes over his bitterness for losing his own high school bowling championship. Brown’s true motivations first came to light in an interview with the construction …
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March 2018
Bridging Along Beall will construct actual bridge
Tommy Lasagna Professional Impasta After multiple incidents involving College of Wooster students and Wooster residents, the College is taking action to improve relations between students and community members. After many hours of meetings, the College has managed to find a solution that administrators believe will …
A new kind of phishing scandal: actual fish
Flaky Rings Obsessive Golf Fanboy Staff at the Lowry Center front desk confirmed that on the morning of March 26, every student at the College received a fish in their mailbox. Peter Mackelmore ’19, who works the morning shift at the desk on Mondays, confirmed …
Wooster Scots triumphant despite tough competition
Spoke Whosaid The Fighting Scots reigned supreme last Sunday as they cruised to an easy win over their opponents. The Scots fired in all departments, with several individuals achieving their personal bests. Jason Gillespie ’19, who was voted player of the week, said, “Just to …
Golfers are beautiful sexy bois
Lion Forests Golfer/Monogamy Rejecter Many people ask me what I want to be when I grow up. I answer quite easily — Mac Bellovich ’20. Mr. Bellovich, native son of Grosse Pointe, averaged 78.9 strokes over 11 rounds. For those of you who don’t deserve …
Cleveland is a wonderland of majestic, tearjerking memories
I don’t know about you, but something about cracking open a cold boxed water always reminds me of ballpark days. Growing up, Dad and I used to knock back several cold ones apiece on weekends in the summer as we sat in the bleachers watching …