Did you know there is a 45 percent chance that you will meet your future spouse in college? Of course all of you realistic, non-romantics know that you will meet the person you will go home with instead.
Many of us don’t know what to expect from a collegiate relationship, let alone an actual relationship. Some of us are huge relationship advocates — and then there are those in the awkward gray area who just don’t know what or who to do. Where do we take our significant other to hang out? What do we feed them? Are they on a timed nap schedule? Do they have any allergies? Despite these questions, here I outline a few of the common the relationships I see.
Nice guy/girl at the drink machines: This is my favorite. There is this beautiful guy/girl you have never seen before on this extremely small campus of 2,000+ kids. Their hair is perfect, they are wearing the nicest fit of clothes, and—Oh wait! She is wearing your favorite brand/band shirt. You wait for her to fill up her juice and then you realize it: she likes mixing blue Powerade and orange juice too! Match made in heaven—so you decide to make small talk…and you fall in love. Afterward, you see her everywhere; you believe that this was the higher power’s intended purpose.
In a cliché 90s movie, it would’ve worked in your favor if you spilled the drink on their shirt and then awkwardly asked them out. But in Wooster life, this does not happen. Most likely they will offer a quick “Hello” when they see you and chat for a bit at a party, but they won’t have much more to say. Sorry that your drink machine escapades were extremely unsuccessful. Hopefully your Powerade and orange juice has enough electrolytes to mend a broken heart.
The drunken weekend hookups: Many college students are extremely familiar with this act; it is the story of most of our lives every weekend. The night usually starts with you and your friends, a couple of 40s and a few shots. As the night comes to a peak, students take on the night at 11 p.m., open to anything that happens. You show up to a house party dancing your soul away — wait. You see something interesting; you don’t have to confirm. That is your friend having DFMO [dance floor make out] with that guy/girl.
These drunken hookups can go two ways: they can end and be forgotten by both, or the involved fall in love. Though let’s be honest; they probably won’t fall in love. However, there are the lucky instances where you and your drunk hookup become exclusive. Who knew that a few shots of whiskey later, the two of you would be soberly brunching in Lowry the morning after in the other’s clothes?
Or you both regret it (or just one of you). This means you will say ‘Hi” in passing, text him/her and want to spend time together. Unfortunately, they are just as disinterested in you as a studio art major in a chemistry class. This may be painful to accept, but if you can forget and move on, there is always next weekend. It’s a 50/50 success rate for the drunken hookups.
The artsy, mysterious guy/girl in the awkward situation: You’re walking to Kauke, and you see this amazing guy/girl chatting with their friends as they smoke cigarettes. You see him/her on the way to classes and throughout campus, but never on the weekend at your usual parties. One day, you finally have a chance to talk to this person in the line at Old Main or at the printers. All you know is you’ve never seen this person in the typical Wooster scene and you have to know them.
Everyone loves these people. The ones too cool to eat in Lowry during the busy hours (or eat there at all). These are the guys and girls whom no one can keep track of, but whom everyone desires. There is something so intriguing about the mysterious kids that don’t speak much of their past, family, birthdays—really anything personal. In fact, they don’t speak much at all, and it makes them more interesting (Aside from their good taste in hipster fashion, indie and underground music and irresistibly hot, perfect bed hair).
I honestly wish I had more details to give about these types of people on campus, but they are so damn mysterious, I just don’t know that much about them. How to get them, how to love them… I don’t even know what to feed them. So keep it up you artsy, mysterious, attractive students and watch as everyone continues to want you. You’re doing something right.
The All-American: Imagine. You’re at the gym hanging out on the elliptical and you see this guy/girl walk pass the glass windows with a group of friends. He’s tall and handsome, she’s cute and bubbly and they both have that prize winning smile and jaw structure. “Who is this person?” you think. Imagine again. You’re walking by the SGA table or photo. There they go again. Imagine one more time. You’re clicking through the Wooster website. . . and there they are. You wonder who the hell this person is.
These people are talented, attractive and involved. They are future presidents, senator’s wives; they are the savior to the American race. They will be nice to you and speak to you because that is who they are, but they will also kindly break your heart. You have a chance, though; they are in your Religious Studies course. Oh look! A free seat. You take it. You chat them up a bit. They invite you to their Greek formal. You fall in love.
As I said earlier, let us avoid the plots of all 90s films. The most you will get from this individual is a smile and help with homework. Yes, none of us can resist the charm and the happiness of this individual, but let’s not hope for more. The All-American usually has a boyfriend/girlfriend who plays lacrosse or volleyball at Princeton. Sorry.
As a college student curious about study abroad, academic opportunities and love, I’ve learned not to stress it. My time will come whether it’s the hot kid with the nice jaw line, the hookup in the bathroom of a frat house basement or the kid who wears khakis and button ups all the time. Just explore your options, wherever you are with whomever you want. The experiences, heartbreak and eventual marriage will come.
Seona Gitttens is the Publicity Manager for the Voice and can be reached for comment at SGittens16@wooster.edu